Truyện cười song ngữ

A husband was leaving on a business trip the next day. After carefully packing his clothes and belongings, his thoughtful wife took a box of condoms from the cupboard and handed him three.

"Take these. You may need them."

Delighted by her thoughtfulness, he hugged and kissed her. "Why not give me the whole box? What if three aren't enough?"

Firmly, she put the box back. "No! There are only five left. I have to keep them at home in case I need some too!"

Her husband was speechless.

Từ vựng trong truyện

• thoughtful: chu đáo
• belongings: đồ dùng cá nhân
• cupboard: tủ
• Firmly: một cách cương quyết
• in case: phòng khi

At the end of a psychology lesson, a male student at the back timidly asked, "Sir, how do we distinguish between stress, fear, and panic?"

The teacher looked at him kindly and answered calmly, "Here are three levels: stress is discovering that your wife is pregnant; fear is discovering that your girlfriend is pregnant; panic is discovering that both are pregnant at the same time."

The student nodded thoughtfully but asked another question. "Can all three emotions—stress, fear, and panic—occur at once?"

The teacher answered firmly, "Yes. When you learn that your wife and your girlfriend are both pregnant, even though you yourself are infertile!"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• psychology: tâm lý học
• timidly: rụt rè
• distinguish: phân biệt
• panic: hoảng loạn
• infertile: vô sinh

There was only one bed in the room. Although the couple loved each other, they were determined to observe propriety. She could not bear to make him sleep on the floor, so she let him share the bed.

Between them she placed a pillow with a note on it: ‘Cross this line and you're a beast.’

Being a gentleman, he restrained himself and did nothing all night.

The next morning, she woke up and left abruptly without saying goodbye. All she left behind was a note: ‘You're not even as good as a beast.’

Từ vựng trong truyện

• observe propriety: giữ đúng lễ giáo; tuân thủ phép tắc
• could not bear: không đành lòng; không chịu nổi
• restrained himself: tự kiềm chế
• abruptly: đột ngột

A man went to a public bathhouse and asked the owner, ‘How much does a bath cost here?’

‘Forty thousand dong for the men's bath, four hundred thousand for the women's.’

The man was astonished. ‘That's daylight robbery!’

‘So which would you like—the men's bath or the women's?’ the owner asked.

The man decided to pay four hundred thousand dong to see what the women's bath was like. But as soon as he stepped inside and looked around, he saw that everyone there was a man.

The other bathers looked at him and said to each other, ‘Here comes another idiot.’

The lesson: the key to business is not pricing, but what customers want!

Từ vựng trong truyện

• bathhouse: nhà tắm công cộng
• astonished: rất sửng sốt
• daylight robbery: giá đắt cắt cổ; nghĩa đen: cướp giữa ban ngày
• bathers: những người đang tắm
• pricing: việc định giá

Because he was poor, he was already over thirty and still had no sweetheart. He felt terribly sorry for himself.

Day after day, his eyes stung as he watched young men stroll hand in hand with beautiful women. Those women wore alluring short skirts and strappy tops, with a light dusting of blush and lips so beautifully glossy that it made his heart ache.

Was being poor a crime?

If only he had a little more money, he could buy himself tops, skirts, and lipstick as lovely as theirs.

Từ vựng trong truyện

• sweetheart: người yêu
• stroll: đi dạo thong thả
• strappy tops: áo có dây vai mảnh
• a light dusting of blush: một lớp phấn má hồng nhẹ
• glossy: bóng mượt