Tuyệt chiêu

While editing a reporter's article, the news editor called him in for a reprimand.

"This story only needs fifty words, and you've written five hundred! Do you know how much that much newspaper space costs? Take it back and condense it!"

The published report read:

'Nguyễn Thanh X., Hanoi. Evening of May 22: used a lighter to check whether his motorbike had any petrol left. It did. X. was thirty.'

Từ vựng trong truyện

• reprimand: lời khiển trách
• condense: rút gọn, cô đọng
• lighter: bật lửa
• petrol: xăng

Rosie happened to see her best friend taking a pill and asked, "Are you ill?"

"No," her friend replied. "It's just a birth control pill. I have to be especially careful these days."

Curious, Rosie asked, "Didn't you tell me a few months ago that your husband had been diagnosed as infertile?"

Her friend sighed. "Exactly. That's why I have to be even more careful."

Rosie was lost for words.

Từ vựng trong truyện

• birth control pill: thuốc tránh thai
• diagnosed: được chẩn đoán
• infertile: vô sinh
• sighed: thở dài

A beautiful secretary at the U.S. State Department was assigned to welcome an ambassador who was also a prince from an Arab country. She was warned not to offend the distinguished guest. The ambassador fell for her at first sight and, at the end of the reception, openly proposed marriage.

Naturally, she did not want to accept, but she dared not offend him. Hoping to stall, she said, "All right, but you must meet three conditions."

"Name them! I'm ready to meet any condition."

"First, I want vacation villas in all the world's famous holiday destinations—Hawaii, the Bahamas, and so on."

The ambassador took out his phone, dialed, and spoke in Arabic for a while. Then he turned to her. "I've called my assistants. They've contacted real estate agencies in those destinations and found what you want."

Stunned, she tried to think of something harder. "I know your religion allows several wives, but I'll accept only if I'm your sole wife."

Again he made a call and spoke in Arabic. "The harem has now been emptied," he said anxiously. "Tell me your final condition."

Now deeply worried, she chose something neither money nor power could change. "My third condition is that your... you know... must be twenty-five centimeters long."

He lowered his head onto the table in despair, while she silently rejoiced. After a while he took out his phone, made another call in Arabic, and told her sadly:

"I've spoken to my personal doctors. They'll shorten it. They'll shorten it!"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• ambassador: đại sứ
• distinguished guest: thượng khách
• stall: trì hoãn, kéo dài thời gian
• real estate agencies: các công ty địa ốc
• sole: duy nhất
• in despair: trong tuyệt vọng

A man carrying two enormous suitcases approached a circus owner to ask for a job.

"What sort of act do you do?" the owner asked.

The man opened one suitcase, took out some huge rocks, tossed them into the air, and caught them on his head.

The owner nodded approvingly. "Not bad. What's in the other suitcase?"

"Painkillers, sir!"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• enormous: to lớn
• act: tiết mục biểu diễn
• approvingly: tỏ vẻ tán thành
• Painkillers: thuốc giảm đau

A young man approached a beautiful woman in the street. "Would you like to join me for coffee?"

"No, thank you."

"Don't think I ask just any girl out for coffee, you know."

"And don't think I turn down every man who asks me."

Từ vựng trong truyện

• approached: tiến lại gần
• join me: đi cùng tôi
• turn down: từ chối