Nhật ký oshin

A woman traveling by plane had a diamond and didn't know how to get it through customs. Seeing a priest pass by, she asked him to carry it through for her.

At the declaration desk, a customs officer asked, "Do you have anything to declare, Father?"

The priest was about to say no, then remembered the diamond in his trouser pocket—and God's commandment against lying.

"Above my waist, I have nothing valuable," he said. "Below my waist, however, I have something every lady admires."

The officer laughed. "You have quite a sense of humor, Father! Go right through."

Từ vựng trong truyện

• customs: hải quan
• declare: khai báo
• commandment: điều răn
• waist: thắt lưng; eo
• sense of humor: khiếu hài hước

One morning, a wife called her husband at work. "My motorcycle won't start. Could you come home and fix it?"

"Who do you think I am? I'm not a motorcycle mechanic!"

A little later, she called again. "Could you come home? Our video player has suddenly broken down."

"Who do you think I am? I'm not a TV or video repairman!"

At noon, she called once more to complain that the door was jammed and would not lock. This time he shouted, "Who do you think I am? I'm not a carpenter!"

That evening, when he came home, she told him she had asked the neighbor to fix everything.

"Did he ask for anything in return?" her husband asked.

"He said I could either cook him a meal or give him a little loving."

"So what did you cook him?" the husband asked gently.

Now it was the wife's turn to get angry. "Who do you think I am? I'm not a chef!"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• mechanic: thợ sửa máy hoặc xe
• broken down: bị hỏng
• jammed: bị kẹt
• carpenter: thợ mộc
• in return: để đáp lại; để trả công

It was a dreadful night. The wind was biting, snow was falling heavily, and the streets were deserted. A baker was about to close when a small man slipped in. Despite his warm coat, raincoat, and scarf, he was soaking wet.

"Two green-rice cakes, please."

"Only two?" the baker asked in surprise.

"Yes. One for me and one for Sherry."

"Is Sherry your wife?"

"Who else would she be?" the man snapped. "Do you think my mother would send me out on a night like this?"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• dreadful: kinh khủng
• biting: rét cắt da
• deserted: vắng tanh
• soaking wet: ướt sũng

Bob had just got married. He asked his father for the secret to a happy marriage.

"It's very simple. The husband makes the important decisions, and the wife makes the unimportant ones."

A month later, Bob returned looking disappointed. "I followed your advice, but it isn't working. Could you explain which decisions are important and which aren't?"

"I let your mother decide the unimportant things: When should we move house? Where should we go on vacation? Whom should we invite to dinner at the weekend? How many children should we have?"

"I make the truly important decisions: Should the labor minister raise wages? Should wearing a helmet be compulsory when riding a motorcycle?"

Từ vựng trong truyện

• disappointed: thất vọng
• move house: chuyển nhà
• raise wages: tăng lương
• compulsory: bắt buộc

A father lined up his children and began questioning them.

"Which of you took the money from my pocket?"

His wife grew impatient and stepped in. Jokingly, she asked, "Why don't you think I took it?"

"With that amount missing, it definitely wasn't you."

"Why not?"

"Because there's still some left."

Từ vựng trong truyện

• lined up: bắt đứng thành hàng
• questioning: tra hỏi
• impatient: sốt ruột, mất kiên nhẫn
• stepped in: xen vào để can thiệp